You Will

In 1993, before the World Wide Web and before the commercial Internet, AT&T ran a set of television advertisements. They are visible on Youtube. At first blush, a lot of it sounded wide eyed and futuristic. But to people who were in the field then, everything in the ad was reasonable and incremental; merely a matter of scaling up what had been figured out. It was a great time to be alive, those early days of the Net. To AT&T iPhone customers of today in the US, almost everything in the ad is now reality.

A more gloomy version of the ad was floating around:

Have you ever received an automated sales pitch,
while you were still in your pajamas?

Have you ever had thousands of calls all over
the world charged to your stolen account number?

Have you ever had your paycheck deleted
by faceless intruders from across the globe?

Have you ever had an employer know more about your
whereabouts and activities than your spouse?

Have you ever been snuffed to dust by a
satellite laser while lying on the beach?

YOU WILL

And the company that will bring this to you
is AT&T.

This was a post on rec.humor.funny on 20 April 1994. Everything in this dystopic vision came out true by 2009 too, other than the last one.

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